Supporting a Loved One
Child loss is not something any parent should have to experience. Whether you are a bereaved parent or you are supporting a grieving family or friend, it is so difficult to navigate alone. Here are some resources here that may help you through this process.
If a friend or loved one is grieving child loss, it can be hard to know what to say. There are no answers and no way to fix their grief. All you can do is offer support. Some examples of things you can say are…
“I am so sorry. There is nothing I can do or say to make this better. But I am here to listen and support you”
“I hate that you are going through this. It’s so unfair.”
“I would love to hear more about (insert child’s name) when you are ready to talk.”
“Take all the time you need.”
What not to say
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Would you say this to someone who lost a parent, a spouse, a grandparent? Babies and children are not replaceable. Yes, they may have another child, but a parent who lost their child will always grieve their baby.
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A lot of people believe this is biblical, but it’s actually misquoted scripture. The verse (1 Corinthians 10:13) is actually about being tempted, not hardships.
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While some people find comfort in believing their baby is in heaven, not everyone has the same beliefs. And as a parent, we selfishly want them here with us.
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Nothing makes this situation better. Nothing that follows “at least” will be comforting.
Practical Ways to Help
Check their mail to intercept medical bills regarding hospital stay.
Carry some of the mental load. Make meals, run errands, clean the house, do the laundry, take care of their living children or their pets.
Take them for a drive or go for a walk to get them out of the house. Being in public for the first time after a loss can be scary, so go slow.
Be present. Check in with them often. Listen to them. Allow them to feel their feelings whether it’s anger, sadness, depression. Sit in it with them.
When you don't know what to do...